Night had fallen completely over the city of Boston now, and as I stood against the counter looking out across the living room my insides twisted with nerves. I swished the liquid in my glass around and took a long sip. The blood warmed my insides and filled my stomach, but it did nothing for my nerves. I was nervous for two reasons, the first being that if those young vampires didn’t want to give up their catch from earlier now was the perfect time to come back and claim her. And they’d probably come with friends. The second reason was because I had to call Clair. We hadn’t spoken since I’d laid my resignation on her desk six months ago, and to tell the truth, I was okay with that.

The girl on my couch was now in a deep, unconscious slumber, but I was sure she would live. James and I had managed to bandage up all her wounds and clean up her bruised and battered body. We’d taken off her blood drenched clothes and replaced them with an old t-shirt of mine and pair of James’s sweatpants. She looked comfortable for the first time. It looked as though she were just sleeping.
I took another long sip, draining the glass and slammed it down on the counter. James took that moment to walk out of his bedroom and back into the living room. He shot me a wide-eyed look while pulling on the forest green polo he wore to work.

“What’s into you?” he asked as he walked by the kitchen.

Our apartment is set up so that the kitchen and the living room are connected by a huge open doorway so you can see the entirety of either room when standing in the other. There are two bedrooms located off a short hallway and a bathroom off the kitchen. It’s a small place, but we don’t need anything bigger.

“Take a guess,” I said still glowering at the living room.

“Ah,” James said disappearing from view for a moment. “You’ve got to call Clair to report all this, don’t you?”

James Warren is a smart kid. I say kid because I’m about forty years older than he is, but the age difference never really mattered that much. In many ways vampires not only get stuck physically at the age they were turned, but mentally as well. I like to think we gain experience, but that’s about it.

My roommate was supposedly top in his class in high school. He’d gotten into Harvard and was looking at a promising future as a lawyer. I still tell him he should go back to school; Starbucks is no place for someone as smart as he is. But I guess when he was bitten it really messed him up for a while. I can be witness to that I suppose. When the SCA found him he was living in a forest a little ways outside of the city. He was naked, covered in mud and blood and I suppose he’d spent so long as a wolf his human instincts had faded to the point where all he could do was snarl. At that time, almost four years ago now, I never knew the wiry werewolf with shaggy, dirty blond hair would become my best friend.

James reappeared with a sweatshirt zipped up over his work shirt and a name tag pinned onto it. “Well, good luck with that. I’ve got to get to work before I’m late.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “Can’t you just stick around tonight? Call out sick or something?” It was a feeble try.

“And get between you and Clair?” he said with a little laugh. “The tension in the air is so thick when she’s around you could cut it with a knife, I think I’ll pass. See ya later, Devin.”

With that he slipped out of the apartment leaving me with an unconscious girl, a group of young vampires lurking somewhere in the darkness and a phone call to the one person I’d been trying to avoid for the past six months. Perfect.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and fingered it for a moment, flipping the cover open and closed, my eyes still fixed on the girl on the couch. What was I going to do about her? If Clair found out about her than this girl would be pulled into the underground world of the supernatural, and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing for humans. Once they’d found out about the supernatural, they couldn’t avoid it, and it got them in a lot of trouble. Maybe it was best just to let Clair think the young vamps had just carried her away and most likely killed her. But if she found out I was lying to her she’d verbally slaughter me. It all came down to what I cared about more, this human girl I didn’t even know, or Clair the head of the Boston SCA and my former boss.

The obvious answer was clear, but I’ve never been one to make things easy on myself.

I flipped open my phone and hit the speed dial that connected me to Clare’s cell, the best way to reach her at nightfall. I knew she’d be busy, but maybe that would mean I’d get her answering machine. I could only hope.

There were three rings, and then a distinct clicking sound on the other end. “Hello, this is Clair Delancy.” Her voice was smooth as silk.

“Hi, Clair, it’s Devin. I didn’t think I’d actually get you,” I said after a moment’s hesitation. My voice came out all cracked as though I were thirteen again. Not the casual sound I’d been hoping for.

“Well, if it isn’t my old friend Devin Gray. I thought you might have died since  you haven’t returned any of my calls,” she said sourly.

I winced, hoping she’d forgotten about that. Dating your boss is never a good idea.

“I got busy, Clair, you know I’d never ignore you on purpose.”

“Retirement must be a bitch,” she said sarcastically. “So to what do I owe this phone call, I’m sure it’s not because you just want to catch up.”

“Clair, you know I’d never…”

“Cut the crap Devin and get to the point.”

“There was an attack outside my apartment. I just thought I’d report it. They were young vampires, and the girl they attacked took a bad beating,” I reported.

“So why are you calling me and not SCA headquarters? I don’t have time to deal with every single newborn attack that happens. That’s Logan’s area.”

I groaned, making it loud enough for her to hear. “Come on, Clair, a favor for an old friend.”

There was a long moment of silence on the other line. “All right, Devin. I’ll make you a deal. I’ve got a tough case right now, right up your ally. If you help me, I’ll help you.”

“That’s unfair, Clair, you know I’m retired. I don’t do that stuff anymore.”

“You know my feelings on your retirement, Devin, so we won’t go there. But that’s my price, otherwise you’ll have to call SCA and deal with Logan,” she said with finality.

I groaned again, but quieter this time. I was sure she heard it anyway. “Fine, where do I meet you?”

She gave me the location, only about a fifteen minute drive if the traffic was good. We agreed to meet in about a half an hour and I hung up the phone. I snapped it shut and slammed it down on the counter, cursing under my breath.  This is why I hated dealing with Clair; she always had to make things more difficult. And that’s precisely why we’d broken up. Sure, we’d had our fun, but ultimately it was a strain on our professional relationship.

I looked up at the girl on my couch and worried she might get herself into trouble if she woke up and nobody was home. Besides I wasn’t sure what was lurking outside. I walked over to her and scooped her up off the couch. Carrying her lightly in my arms, I brought her into by bedroom where I lay her down on the bed. She groaned in her unconscious slumber and shifted on the carefully made bed. Her face twisted as though she were in great pain. I laid my hand on her heart where I could still feel it beating beneath her chest. If it was still beating now, it would continue to for hopefully a long time to come. I pulled a blanket up over her and left the room, closing the door behind me. Hopefully she’d be more comfortable there.

Pulling on my jacket I grabbed my keys off the table by the door and left the small apartment. I took the stairs at a speed that was just a little too quick to be human and was out the door in seconds. The other tenants kept to themselves, and that’s what I liked about the building. If there was anything abnormal going on, they ignored it. Although both James and I tried hard to look as human as possible, sometimes it was more difficult than others. Like tonight, I was eager and hasty. But I was also lucky because nobody was out in the halls.

I hit the auto-unlock button on my keys and was rewarded with a soft beep and the flashing of headlights only a few cars away from me. I hadn’t used the car in a while, preferring to use other modes of transportation in the city. It was really only used back when I was working for the SCA. The Boston unit covered not only Boston, but most of New England. The car came in handy when traveling up to Vermont, Maine, or even the suburbs. It was a black 2000 VW Jetta, a reliable enough car. It got me where I needed to go and had enough horsepower to get me out of somewhere fast if things got too sticky. I liked the car; it brought back comfortable memories from my past. From the days when hunting the supernatural was fun.

The streets were busy, but not as bad as usual. I made my way up past the harbor and through downtown and out towards the northern end of Boston. The homes were pretty nice out there, which meant it was most likely an upper-middle class home. I wondered idly what had happened. Clair wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t related to the supernatural, meaning vampires, werewolves or pretty much any other unnatural being you could think of. Demons were always a problem in big cities, but at least the Faeries liked to keep their sneaky little noses in the countryside.  

There are two sections of the SCA in Boston. The first was headed by Logan Archer, a hot-tempered werewolf with a lot of attitude. He covered murders, general attacks and most domestic disputes. Then there was Clair, who headed the Special Investigations department. If there was an unexplained occurrence that could have possibly been connected to the supernatural her team was brought in. When I worked on the team, we’d brought down big time rouges, demons and warlocks. I miss the job sometimes.

When I pulled up in front of the house where Clair had told me to meet her, there were already three sedans and an SUV in front of the home. All were black, and new. I parked my Jetta behind the line of cars and looked over at the house, killing the engine as I did so.

The home was a good size with two stories and a two-car garage connected. It was a clean, crisp white with green shutters and if it wasn’t for the torn-up lawn and the smashed windows it would have looked just like every other house on the street. The large front window, supposedly leading into the living room was shattered. There were lights illuminating all the downstairs windows, but the upstairs was dark. Figures filled the downstairs. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

I shoved my keys in my pocket and headed up towards the house. As I got closer I could see Clair standing in the doorway, her curvy figure silhouetted by the lights from inside the house. If I’d had a heartbeat it might have skipped a few beats at the sight of her.

Her pale golden hair was cropped close to her head, bangs falling down in front of her eyes. She’d cut it since I’d last seen her. Her ivory skin stood out vibrantly against her black suit jacket. The purple satin shirt underneath was trimmed in lace and cut low, exaggerating her breasts. I tried to keep my eyes set determinedly on her face as I walked closer. I wasn’t going to show her any weakness tonight. With her heels on she stood barely an inch shorter than me, and I’m a pretty average five feet ten inches. Her full, red lips curved into a smile as I approached her.

“You look…older,” she said as I stopped in front of her.

I ran a hand through my disheveled hair. “You’ve cut your hair,” I responded. “Looks good.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Follow me, I’ll show you around.”

I followed her into the house where a half dozen people were gathered. Most of them I recognized, a few of them I didn’t.

“Alright everyone,” Clair said. “We’ve got all our team members, let’s get started.” She stepped aside and motioned towards me. “This is Devin. He’s going to be assisting us tonight.”

There were a few whispers among the group. It was all I could do not to snap, “I’m doing this against my will.” Instead I flashed a quick smile at the group and let my eyes wander around the room. I don’t think I’d ever felt more uncomfortable in my life. Except maybe the day I was turned.

“Carson, Todd, Baker take the living room. I want Garrison and Chen on the cat and the rest of the upstairs. Cavanaugh you come with me and Gray, we’re going to talk to the homeowners.” Clair dictated as thought I hadn’t been gone for the past six months. It was comforting in some ways, but a little disturbing in others. One minute she was on my case about leaving the SCA and the next she was acting as though it were six months in the past. Something was bothering her, I could tell. The thing that bothered me was that I knew it had something to do with me.

The group didn’t move. And I suppose I was glad they didn’t, otherwise I might have convinced myself that the past six months had never happened. They stood there, their eyes shifting between me and Clair, unsure of what to do. Those who had never worked with me before probably knew my name. I wasn’t just some agent who quit; I had a history. I was the agent who always solved the case, always got his man, and then quit for seemingly no reason. I don’t mean to brag, but over the forty years I worked for the SCA I became a sort of a legend. I didn’t blame them for gaping at me.

Clair’s face grew harsh. “Stop gawking and get moving. We have work to do.”
The group split up, jumping into action. Two men, one young sporting hair gelled into short spikes and a middle aged werewolf strode towards the living room accompanied by a short, young woman. The other group, a tall, wiry man with a short clipped beard and a girl who looked Chinese hurried towards the stairs. A man of around thirty-five was left standing in the hall with us. He had short, brown hair and a rough shadow of stubble covering his angular chin and jaw line. He looked tired and his complexion was shockingly rosy compared to both Clair and I. He was the only one of the group who wasn’t a vampire, werewolf or warlock. He was human through and through.

A smile spread across his face and he opened his arms as he walked towards me. He embraced me in a casual hug and then stepped away. I returned his smile and looked him over again. “You look tired, John,” I said.

“I got your job,” he responded. “I don’t have the stamina to carry it off in quite the same way you did.”

I laughed. “I don’t think even Clair has the stamina to carry it off the way I did.”
“Okay, boys, let’s get to work,” Clair said agitatedly.

“I see she hasn’t changed since I left,” I said to John falling in step beside him.

“She’ll never change. But you’d know that better than the rest of us.” He winked at me and my smile faded. “Sorry,” he covered. “I forgot that was a touchy subject.”  He clapped his hand on my shoulder. “But seriously, it’s great to see you. What brought you out from hiding? Are you coming back?” There was a light behind his eyes as he asked the question.

“No, no, I’m not coming back,” I said hastily and saw that light fade. “I just needed to return a favor to Clair. She wanted the extra help.”

I heard Clair stifle a laugh. John didn’t have the hearing I did and didn’t notice the noise. I was glad.

We walked on into the kitchen where a man and woman in their early fifties stood together. The room was quaintly designed with a counter wrapping around the far side of the room and a round table in the center. I could only assume it had once been a very nicely cared for place. The table had four chairs all haphazardly placed around it. The countertop was a mess, as though somebody had been in a hurry to find something. And I supposed that was probably the case. The man was standing with his arm around his wife’s shoulders. He was balding, a fringe of close cropped hair encircling the base of his head. He was wearing a business suit, the knot in the blue tie pulled away from his neck. The woman was staring solemnly at the floor. She had curly, brown hair streaked with silver. She was wearing a brown sweater with a pair of black slacks. I caught the distinct smell of cigarette smoke coming off one of them that nearly sickened me, and I could tell that both of their heartbeats were elevated.

“This is Mr. and Mrs. Martin,” Clair informed John and me. “They came home shortly after we arrived here.”

“I still don’t understand what our break-in has anything to do with the FBI,” Mr. Martin said tersely.

“As I said, there has been a string of burglaries in the area that we think is connected to a suspect in an abduction case,” Clair said smoothly, repeating the cover story without even hesitating. “Your neighbor reported the incident, and we came over promptly to check it out.”

Clair had always been better at telling lies than I am – one of the reasons I refused to take her job when it was offered to me. She was also a better leader than I was. If anyone followed me it would have been because of my reputation only, not any actual control I had over them.

“What we want to know is if there’s anything that you can tell us,” she continued.
“I don’t see what we can tell you, Agent Delancy,” The man said. “We were at work all day. Although, our daughter should have been home.”

Mrs. Martin took in a sharp breath. My eyes drifted to her face. She looked up at me quickly and then back down to the floor. Her eyes were full of worry and anger. In fact, now that I looked closer at her body, I could see the tension throughout her. She looked as though she could explode any moment.

“You have a daughter?” Clair asked.

“Yes, she goes to college just outside the city. She lives at home. I don’t know where she is.  She’s usually home around two. Maybe she ran when the burglar broke in,” Mr. Martin explained quickly.

Clair opened her mouth to ask something else, but I held up my hand. My eyes were locked on the trembling Mrs. Martin. Clair closed her mouth and nodded to me. One of the things I’d always been better at than Clair was reading people, and in turn talking to them. I could feel others emotions on a deeper level than she could. She on the other hand, was better at hiding her own. Just the perks that come with being undead. I reached out my senses toward Mrs. Martin so that I could feel her reactions. It was the type of ability that I could open and close at will, but I usually was influenced somewhat by others emotions even if I was blocking them out.

“What’s the matter, Mrs. Martin?” I asked not taking my eyes from her.

She looked up at me, and I felt her emotions flood my own. It’s like the equivalent to being hit with a giant wave at the beach and then being dragged under the surface by the riptide. I took in a sharp breath. All her fear and anger hit me harder than I’d expected them too. I’d forgotten how strong people’s emotions were when they were truly afraid or angry.

“I think she might have been taken by the burglars,” she said softly.

Mr. Martin grasped his wife’s shoulder tightly and pulled her closer. “Don’t think like that, Ruth, she probably just had an after-school project.”

“Until eight o’clock?” Mrs. Martin trembled.

“No,” I said under my breath. “It’s more than that.” I knew Clair had heard me. She raised an eyebrow quizzically. I just nodded to her.

“It might not be my place, Mrs. Martin, but I think there’s another reason why you’re afraid your daughter isn’t here,” I continued.

“You’re right,” Mr. Martin snapped. “It isn’t your place.”

“It’s alright, Dan, it might help.” She straightened up. “She was going to do some research on her real parents. See, she’s adopted and she wanted to know more about where she came from.”

“Ruth,” Mr. Martin gasped. “We decided not to tell her. Her real parents were dangerous.”

“I didn’t tell her. She figured it out on her own.”

I exchanged a glance with Clair. Adoptions were common enough in our world, and usually the children went to human parents who had no idea about the supernatural. Mothers bearing half-demon babies often put their children into the adoption rotation. Even the occasional werewolf child turned up because their parents believed if they were separated the curse wouldn’t affect their children. They were easy enough to handle, if we got to them soon enough. Werewolf children often didn’t start turning until they hit puberty and half-demon children were usually harmless. They had the possibility to turn into warlocks and witches, but that was only if they became aware of the blood that ran through their veins allowing them to use magic. And simply because they had a demon for a father, doesn’t mean they’re inherently evil. I know many a witch and warlock who use their magic only to help others. There are quite a few working for the SCA. It’s usually when their mother is the demon that they become a problem. Because unlike human mothers who are eager to pawn the tainted child off on somebody else, demon mothers like to use their children to the fullest of their abilities because demons themselves are inherently evil.

“So where is your daughter exactly?” Clair asked.

“I don’t know,” Mrs. Martin said. “She confronted me about it two days ago. I told her I didn’t know her real parents names, but I gave her the address of the place we’d adopted her from. Somewhere downtown. She said that’s where she was going to be tonight.”

“And you’re worried she got into trouble in the city. Maybe she ran into her real parents? Who were dangerous?” I put in.

Mrs. Martin nodded. “We didn’t know too much about where she’d come from, just that her parents had given her up for her own protection. I guess we just assumed they were into drugs or part of a gang or something.”

“Which is why we didn’t want her to find them. But what I don’t understand is what any of this has to do with the break-in tonight.” Mr. Martin straitened up and looked me in the eye. I could feel his protectiveness, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as the emotions coming from Mrs. Martin.

“You never know what’s related, Mr. Martin,” I said.

He grunted and turned his gaze back to his wife. I could feel an edge of uncertainty run though him.

“I think we’re done then,” Clair announced. “If you have any place you can stay for the night that would be best. I don’t know how long we’re going to be here.”

“But what about our daughter?” Mrs. Martin asked. A wave a fear ran though her again.

“Why don’t you tell me her name and I’ll call it in. Send somebody out to look for her,” Clair answered calmly.

“Her name’s Riley, Riley Ann Martin,” Mr. Martin put in.

“Thanks for your help,” Clair said to them and then turned away.

John and I followed her back out into the hallway, and then on through to the living room. The group of three she’d sent in before were examining knocked over vases and upturned chairs. One had his nose awfully close to a small scrap of clothing on the floor. It was the middle-aged werewolf sporting the salt and pepper hair. It seemed the short, slightly plump girl with the red hair was also a werewolf. The spiky-haired boy’s skin was too pale, and he didn’t have that dog scent, he was a vampire. Ian was his name, and I remembered him from my days with the SCA. A smart kid, although still young and inexperienced.

The room was even more of a state of disarray than the kitchen had been. Bits of glass from the window had been scattered across the burgundy carpet. Pillows had been thrown haphazardly around the place and two of the three lamps had been knocked over, their bulbs shattered. The bookcases had been emptied of their contents and the entertainment center had been upturned. The wide-screen plasma TV had a cavernous crack in it that would have reduced James to tears. And to top off this whole mess, whoever had blasted through that window had left a nice streak of blood smeared across one of the tan walls. It was vampire blood, the color was too light to be either human or werewolf, and demons blood tended to have a strange green tint to it.

“So,” Clair announced as we stepped into the living room and out of earshot of the Martins. “What do you bet this all has to do with the daughter?”

“Find the girl, find the intruder not too far behind,” I agreed.

“What do you think she is?” John asked. “Hell spawn or werewolf?”

“Or she could be one of the fae,” Clare added.

I shook my head. “No, faeries wouldn’t come this close the city. I think we can rule out the fae. We can also rule out werewolf because she would have changed by now, and her parents would have noticed. It seems most likely she’s a witch.”

“Unless she was a late bloomer,” John put in. “Maybe that’s when she started wondering whether or not the Martins were her real parents.”

Clair folded her arms over her chest. “I’m going to hope Devin’s right on this one, a witch is easy enough to handle, a young werewolf roaming the streets of downtown Boston is another story. Either way we have to find this girl.”

“What’s upstairs?” I asked.

“Oh, they found a dead cat in one of the bedrooms. Two puncture holes to the neck. It seems our intruder got hungry before he left,” John informed me.

“So we can safely say it was a vampire that broke in,” I concluded. “But that doesn’t make sense. Why would a Rouge care about a witch or a werewolf.”

Clare shrugged. “Maybe it was a newborn and didn’t know what it was going after. Apparently it got the housecat instead.”

I shook my head. “A newborn wouldn’t have terrorized the place like this. No, this was premeditated. He knew what he wanted and got angry when he couldn’t find it.”

“How do we know he wasn’t after an object, instead of a person?” John asked.

“The place is pretty well ripped to pieces, and you haven’t even seen the upstairs.”

“Because of the cat,” I said. “The attacker came in hungry. He expected to find somebody here to feed on. Otherwise he would have taken care of that first. That’s why the cat’s dead.”

“There are too many holes in this theory, Devin,” Clair snorted.

“I know,” I answered. “But it’s a place to start.”

“You know, Devin, I really miss discussing a case with you,” John said. “You sure you don’t want to come back?”

“I’m sure, John,” I answered solemnly. “Listen, I’m going to go out front for a minute and get some air.”

Both Clair and John shot me questioning looks, but didn’t say anything. It was a lousy excuse to get away from the room considering they both know I don’t need air to live. We’re called the undead for a reason. Our bodies are stuck in the state they were in when we were turned. Thing is, in order to be turned we have to die. Our heart stops and so does just about every other organ in our body, save our brain. Just as we don’t need food to sustain us, we don’t need oxygen either. Although for most of us breathing is a habit we carry over from our previous life. And for those of us who are determined to fit into society breathing is essential.

But all the same the house was becoming stifling. More so mentally than physically.

I walked out onto the front lawn and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, and all the stars were blinking brightly. I took a couple deep breaths to calm my nerves. Even though I don’t need it to live, fresh air has always made me feel better. It relaxes me and cleanses my insides, making me feel almost human. I found myself closing my eyes and forgetting my surroundings.

As though in a dream, I was suddenly transported to a dark room.

The basement of a house not much different than the one I stood in front of. I raced up the stairs as I heard the scream, running as fast as I could. It took only seconds to get up to the second floor. There stood a tall, lean vampire. His blond hair was a disheveled mess atop his head. His green eyes were wild. There was blood splattered over his chin and coating his mouth like bright red lipstick. His mouth twisted up into a grotesque smile. He held a young, frightened girl in front of him, his arm around her chest, restraining her. “I know how your life fell apart,” he whispered as he let his canines grow into sharp points. He began inching in head toward the soft flesh of her throat.  

The girl whimpered and tears began rolling down her cheeks. The way she looked that night has been imprinted on my memory forever. Her white nightdress was stained red with blood that could have only been hers. Her face was twisted with pain that no ten-year-old should have to go through. Her brown curls were mussed, and her skin was blotchy from fear and the tears that had been rolling across them. Her body shivered under his touch and she desperately tried to pull away from his tight grasp.

I let out a sharp hiss that filled the small, quiet house and felt my teeth extent. I yelled at him to leave the girl alone, my voice was strong but both he and I could detect the hint of uncertainty behind the words.  His smile returned as he lifted his face away from the girl by a few inches. “You weren’t supposed to live you know, Devin,” he sneered. “If only you’d died when you were supposed to, the rest of your family would still be alive.” The girl screamed again as the Rouge snapped his head back down to her neck and sunk his teeth deep into the lush skin of her neck.

“Devin, are you alright?” Clair’s voice came through, penetrating the memory.

I hadn’t realized until then, that my hands were tightly clasped into fists, my nails digging into the skin of my palms. My brows were furrowed deep into my eyes, and my mouth twitched at the corner as I heard her voice. I opened my eyes and looked over at her, the motion abnormally slow. Her hand was rested, lightly on my shoulder, and her expression was one of genuine concern. I hadn’t seen that look on Clair’s face in a long time.

I took in another breath of the crisp fall air. “Sure,” I lied. “Just thinking.”

“Thinking about what?” She asked. “That night?”

I looked quickly away from her and gave one, stiff nod. She knew me too well for me to deny it.

“It wasn’t your fault, Devin. You know you can’t save them all.”

“She was only ten-years-old, Clair. If I hadn’t chased Marco he never would have gone in there and that girl never would have died.”

Clair shrugged. “Marco had the information you needed. I know how much you wanted to catch him.”

“My mistake was that I let him take over my life. I wanted retribution for what he did to me, to my family, so bad I forgot why I joined the SCA. I can’t forgive myself for that, Clair, not now, not ever.”

“What he did to your family, Devin, was sickening. You had every right to go after him. I would have done the same thing myself.”

I looked over at her and flashed her a nervous smile. She returned the gesture and moved in a little closer, running her hand across my back. I found myself suddenly overwhelmed by her presence, by her scent. The comfort of her company at that moment when I was so wrapped up in bad thoughts, made me remember her softer side. The side that had attracted me to her in the first place.

I absently put my arm around her and pulled her closer to me. She didn’t fight it, but instead pressed her mouth against mine. Her lips were soft and comforting and familiar. I found myself returning the kiss without even consciously making the choice to do so. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled herself even closer, her hand creeping up the back of my neck to entwine itself in my hair.

I pulled away from her suddenly, pushing her at arm’s length. “I’m sorry, Clair,” I said. “I just can’t do this. My mind’s not in a good place right now.”

“I missed you, Devin,” she said softly. “And I’m not just talking about our relationship. I miss you on the job. You’re so good at it, and you saved so many lives. I guess I never understood why one girl affected you so much.”

“It wasn’t just the girl it was a lot of things. But the bottom line was that I needed to get away from it all for a while before I made another mistake.”

“Does that mean you’ll consider coming back in the future?”

I shook my head. “For us, Clair, the future is a long time. I don’t know, but as far as things are concerned right now, I’m done with the SCA.” I took my hands off her shoulders and put them firmly in the pockets of my jacket. I took a step towards my car, to make sure she knew the conversation was over. “And I’m done for tonight. When can you come over and take a look at my ally?”

Her face turned unreadable again, and I could tell she’d gone back into her business mode. “First thing in the morning, I promise. Thanks for coming out here tonight, Devin.” She added the last sentence with the same softness she’d used right before we’d kissed.

“I only did it so that I wouldn’t have to deal with Logan,” I called back jokingly, as I turned and strode off toward my Jetta.

When I got into my car I just sat there for a long while, thinking. I looked over towards the damaged house again and saw that Clair had been stopped in the doorway by the Matins who appeared to be on their way out. She had her arms crossed over her chest and she nodded as she listened. I could see her team still moving around in the living room. John was illuminated by the single light in the room. He was pointing at something, talking to the red haired werewolf. The lights upstairs had been turned on, and I could see the two SCA agents working up there as well.

Despite all that had happened I had the urge to be up there, to be working the case alongside them like I used to. I’ve never considered myself sentimental, but in that moment I really missed the way my life used to be. The security and the familiarity of the job and the people I worked with. I suddenly felt like an outsider with Clair and with John, even with Ian and the others who I barely knew. I sighed and leaned back. The night had brought back more than I’d thought it would. Not just about my past, but about Clair and about the decisions I’d made six months ago. Maybe it would have been better to deal with Logan. I almost laughed at the thought. My past was going to catch up with me whether I liked it or not. That’s just the way it was, and despite the fact that I’d been ignoring it, I’d known that fact for a long time now.  The thing was I wasn’t sure if I was ready to deal with it yet.

I started the engine and pulled out into the road, looking back at the house in my rearview mirror as I drove away.